For 30 minutes, there’s no bullsh*t.

You’ve probably heard runners talk about how they run to clear their heads and how running keeps them sane. I’m not sure if running keeps me sane, but for 30 minutes I for sure know there’s no bullshit going on in my head. Sure there’s still bullshit going on in the world and my life, it’s not like I have Superman’s powers and can stop the world on its access and freeze time (but how cool would it be to actually do that?). But for 30 minutes during a run, I’m not thinking about all of the other bullshit. There’s only so much space in my head at one time and I’m too worried about thinking about whether or not that car with the texting teenage driver is actually going to hit me than to worry about other stuff in my life. I always hated how I can spend an entire 3 mile run (who am I kidding, it can be an entire 26.2 mile run!) agonizing over my left knee or my plantar fascitias or whether or not I have enough kleenex to last me the entire run or if I should just commit right now to wiping my nose on my glove. I couldn’t figure out why people talked about how great it is to run and “get away from it all” when I always felt I wasn’t getting away from anything. I was worried about the route I was running, if there are any bathrooms on the route, if my knees will hurt, if I need a flashlight to see, which way the wind is coming from, etc. I thought that those things cluttering my mind was a bad thing. But now I realize all of the space those thoughts are taking up, there isn’t enough space in my head to worry about other personal or work drama. I guess this whole time I have been running and clearing my head. It’s just been a temporary “clearing” because the minute I’m back in the house, reality comes crashing back down on me. But I guess 30 minutes is better than nothing. I need to embrace my random running obsessions and OCD thoughts because it’s not a burden after all. Instead it’s a much-needed diversion at a time when diversions are needed most.

Until next time, One step at a time…


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