Since my breakthrough last Friday morning when I was actually able to swim, breathe and stroke, I’ve gone to the pool 5 more times, including twice yesterday! That’s right, I’ve started two-a-days bitches! Okay, that sounded more hard-core than it really was. But hey, I have to try to give myself a boost when I can because this whole swimming thing has been really demoralizing, so if pretending that going to the pool twice in one day is card core, than dammit let me pretend!
In my time in the pool since Friday, I have gotten pretty good at swimming and breathing while using flippers. I’m super pumped about that. It’s a HUGE breakthrough. Huge. Huge. Huge. And the fact that I’ve been able to maintain that skill, has me pretty geeked, hence the visit to the pool twice yesterday.
However, once I ditch the flippers that’s when things go downhill. Quickly.
I just can’t maintain my stroke and breathing. I can swim (omg, did I just type, “I can swim”?, who would have thought?!?!) about a half a length and that’s it. Then I have to stop because I’m taking in too much water. But why? What’s happening at that time that makes me fall to pieces? Am I going to slow to keep myself afloat? Why can’t I breathe properly? Am I too tired? Am I out of shape and can’t make it more than a half a length? Am I out of breath? Am I really sinking, drowning and about to die a horrible death – which is the way it feels?
Brian thinks it’s not that I’m out of shape or going to slow or anything else, he thinks it’s that I’m not calm. He said swimming is all about getting into a rhythm and staying calm. And lord knows I’m anything BUT calm. Calm has never been by specialty.
But how do you practice being calm, especially while in the fricken water and trying not to drown?!?! It’s not like Brian can give me drills to work on that teach “calm”. Oh sure there’s yoga and meditation that help a person learn to be calm, but that’s completely different from trying not to panic while swimming. Oh yeah, and I’m also trying to concentrate on all the things Craig told me to, like…. kick from the hips, keep my feet at the top of the water, head down, elbow over wrist, push the water, blah, blah, blah. That’s a lot of freaking shit in my head that’s not helping me stay calm.
I’m hoping the more I do it, the more calm I become. I mean everything else just “clicked” for no apparent reason and I had no idea it was going to happen and click when it did. So I’m really hoping calmness clicks for me too. Because as of now, I can only go .5 lengths of the pool which means only 35.5 lengths shy of the 1/2 mile swim I need to do in August. Just a tad shy!
Until next time,
Gotta run (or swim)