As some of you know, Brian built me a tri bike. It looks awesome. How it handles on the open road, that I still don’t know. I’ve been on it a few times on the trainer in the basement, and in those times I’ve had issues with the cable breaking and the chain slipping. Not a good sign. But Brian assures me that I have to ride it a few times before he can make final adjustments. Hhhmmm…. sounds legit. Or it sounds like a line of bullshit. I waver between the two scenarios depending on my mood!
But before I take it outside on its maiden voyage, I need to name it. Much like how it’s bad luck not to name a ship, bikes must be named too. (Okay, I just made up the part about it being bad luck, but I seriously need all the good juju as possible so I’m naming it, “just in case” it is similar to a boat and it really is bad luck.)
I had been toying with the name Black Betty. Black Betty is a cool, tough bitch. She’s the tattooed girl at the bar playing pool and doing shots of whiskey. She’s not to be messed with. She. Will. Cut. You. Black Betty is intimidating. And while I’d like to think me and my bike can pull off being Black Betty, I’m nowhere near that tough. I can barely bike in a straight line and I keep telling Brian my back hurts when I bend over to reach the handles bars (seriously, why can’t you raise them up?). I am very slow and very unsure. So basically, Black Betty is a pipe dream. Maybe if I ever get good at this whole Tri thing and ever get another bike, it can be Black Betty, but right now – Black Betty is out.
So after eliminating Black Betty, I gave it some more thought. I can’t imagine how parents name their kids because I’m having a helluva time naming a bike. But after much thought and many ideas, ladies and gentlemen I’d like to introduce you to, drum roll please…..
While Black Betty is the town bad ass, Freddie is the neighborhood nice guy. You see him and you smile because he’s always just slightly “off”. You see Freddie in a bar and he’s the guy who may or may not be alone, but he’s always content and never lonely. He’ll make you scratch your head with some off-the-wall story about something that happened to him and you’ll think… “Freddieeeeeee!”
Freddie is the guy that when he’s trying to pretend he’s serious and wants respect will go by Fred. But no matter how many times he calls himself Fred, he’ll always be Freddie to his friends. Freddie is the goofy friend who is always up for a road trip with friends and may or may not sleep in your car instead of paying for a hotel room. Why? Because he’s Freddie – of course
But oh lord, if shit’s hitting the fan, don’t you know I’ll whip out a Fredrick, just to remind him whose boss. When I call him Fredrick, he knows he’s in trouble.
So please welcome Freddie into the family! Long live Freddie!
Until next time,
Gotta run (or swim or bike)
And from one Freddie to another – Enjoy!